In light of the shocking (snicker snicker) and intolerable (feh!) delay in Iraq's receiving a constitution, I decided it was time to revive this.
It's not that old, but it was early in my online career, such as it is. and it begins thusly:
In recent days, during some repair work on a guest house in Philadelphia, the work crew knocked out an attic wall and discovered a fully-intact close-stool, in which contents were included a handful of soiled, crumpled papers. While most of the pages were a little worse for wear, they appear to have been direct questions for an interview between one of our Founding Fathers (perhaps a Virginian) and a member of the established press in direct competition with Benjamin Franklin and other notables. To the best of our ability, we have restored the notes of one Theodore, whose last name appears to have been Cowper, although the condition of the cover pages leaves us room for debate. The following few paragraphs are the clearest, and may shed some light upon journalism in the early days of our Grand Experiment.
“While the Colonies declared Independency eleven years ago, the heads of this fledgling Nation have yet to have formed a viable Government. ‘Why is this taking so long?’ seems to be the question of the season. We of the [illegible] News Paper and its esteemed Readers hope you can provide us with satisfactory Answers.