Earworm of the Day: HAW HAW

I hear the Mule Skinner Blues, but Levi's style (as in the embedded video), at 3 a.m., and it's guaranteed to lead me down some strange pathways. Not only do I wander into Bluegrass turf, such as from Bill Monroe and Dolly Parton, but even more, the brain starts tripping out on memories of all those  psychedelic ads Levi's ran, back in the day, especially those featuring the voice of Ken Nordine (please click on this last one, especially!)...

Not the effect they were aiming for

A regional jewelry store has a banner ad at the local tv station's website, with the words "Turn WOW upside down for Mother's Day," and, of course, directly under the "WOW" they've placed "MOM", using a circular pendant for the "O".

I don't know if anybody bothered to tell them, but, in most people's minds, to suggest turning a positive ("WOW") upside down is to imply negating it.

IMHO, the better application of the reversal of text would be to say something akin to,

"Have MOM flip on Mother's Day." The "WOW" works just as well underneath as it does above, and the message is even more positive.

But maybe it's just me...

Iggernance doesn't sell

Why is it that advertisers seem to think we're all ignorant schmucks who missed out on all the major advances of the twentieth century?

I'm talking, today, about a certain automobile manufacturer which, in its ads run during the tennis matches today, touts the "new" safety feature, wherein the vehicle's frame has some sections collapse on impact, while other parts of the frame remain rigid.

Well, now, I suppose that would be novel, if safety engineers hadn't invented the crumple zone for cars back in the 1950s!

So, now, I'm supposed to be impressed at this "innovation". Ooooh. Ahhh. Lookit me I'm dancin' with excitement.

Sheesh.

In one of those investment companies' advertisements, the voice-over guy says, "some things need to be percise..."

Apparently, proper enunciation isn't one of them.

There's a Reason

Grape Nuts:

Things move for men of Mental and Physical Strength

"There's a Reason"

Full-page advertisement in back of Woman's World, 1927

(click for larger image)

Although, what that reason is, I'm not sure. It's probably something to do with the laws of physics, many of which I spend long hours trying to defy.

There's always room...

Is it time for dessert, yet?

Full-page advertisement from 1927 Woman's World Magazine.

Maybe I'm just old, but I'm not crazy about foods which won't sit still when I point a spoon at them.

The last time I made some of this stuff, I loaded it with tasty fruits and it still became a very messy plaything for my much-too-old-to-be playing-with-food nephews. More went on their clothes and the countertops than in their stomachs. I kept thinking that I needed fingerpaint paper.

They both now exhibit considerable artistic skills, so I guess Jell-O isn't a complete failure as a dessert, in our family.

No Excuse

Why I Am the Way I Am

or, something like that.

Question du jour of the day

So. In a commercial for a security/alarm company, a woman and daughter come in from playing in the yard, and just at that moment a creepy guy breaks down the front door and menaces them. The girl and her mommy run upstairs to answer the ringing phone. My question is twofold: (a) shouldn't they eschew the stairs and run instead for the neighbor's house, or at least somewhere in plain open daylight, where there are likely witnesses, and (b) why would they stop to answer the phone when their lives may be threatened? What if it's one of those computer-dialed, pre-recorded telemarketers? So much for getting help... dial "M" for messed up!

If there's a reason for going upstairs and quivering in a bedroom, waiting for help to come, please, somebody, tell me.

"Ever wish you had SONIC hearing?"

What a great line for opening an advertisement directed at selling useless gadgets at high prices to people who have no brains!

Duuuuuuude, I hate to break it to you, but unless they're stone deaf, everybody who's watching your ad has sonic hearing. That's what "hearing" means. That's what those little parts inside the ear are in there for: picking up sonic waves and transmitting them via neural pathways into the brain. Give me a few more years before I surrender my sonic hearing to the ravages of old age and genetic disorders. We'll discuss the digital substitutes then. If technology continues to improve, and if socialized medicine doesn't arise in this country and kill the tech solutions' availability.

Sonic hearing.

Duh.

I SO have to move this little computer out of the room where Mom is watching sports.

Feminism's ad result

For years, women have complained that we could not sit down and watch television without having to suffer the embarrassment of various and sundry feminine hygiene product advertisements ("Mom, do you ever feel... you know... not so fresh?").

But now, we're even. Men have complaints. Or, at least, one man has it. Andy McCarthy at The Corner asks about the latest embarrassing ads he has to explain to the young 'un.

Turnabout is... well... you know... equally gross.

Buy me a drink, sailor?

For the first time since college, I'm seriously considering buying a bottle of vodka.

No, it's not that electioneering is driving me to drink (although give me a few more weeks of this interminable campaign, and maybe we'll have to reconsider). It's this really neat answer to a really stupid advertisement:

SAN FRANCISCO–(BUSINESS WIRE)–In 1848, the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo officially ended the Mexican-America War (1846-1848). With the signing of this treaty, the United States gained control of what was to become the Golden West, including California, Arizona, Utah, Nevada and parts of Colorado and New Mexico. Today, SKYY® Vodka, the number-one vodka produced in the United States, spoke out against suggestions by Absolut® Vodka to disregard that treaty, as well as the joining of Texas to the Union in 1845, as depicted in Absolut’s recent advertising.

“Like SKYY Vodka, the residents of states like California, Texas and Arizona are exceptionally proud of the fact that they are from the United States of America,” said Dave Karraker, SKYY Vodka. “To imply that they might be interested in changing their mailing addresses, as our competitor seems to be suggesting in their advertising, is a bit presumptuous.”

In the ad, an “Absolut World” is depicted where the map of North America is re-drawn with Mexico claiming much of the Western United States, negating the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, as well as the Gadsden Purchase (1853), and the independence of Texas (1836).

“Don’t get me started on the Gadsden Purchase,” continues Karraker. “I think the folks in Tucson and Yuma would be rubbed the wrong way if they hear this landmark deal was somehow nullified as suggested by Absolut, a Swedish-owned brand.”

SKYY Vodka was founded in San Francisco in 1992 and continues to be produced in the United States. Premium SKYY Vodka is made from American grain carefully selected from the Midwest and 100% pure filtered water. SKYY’s proprietary four-column distillation and three-step filtration process consistently ensures exceptional quality. SKYY Vodka products include luxury SKYY90® and new SKYY Infusions™, a unique, all-natural infused experience made with premium SKYY Vodka and succulent real fruit.

Honestly, I'm not a big drinker, and, when pressed, I'd prefer a nice, smoky, single-malt Scotch whisky (Scotch is for sipping in good company. Vodka, in my experience, is for getting plastered and doing stuff you don't want your family to know about) , but these guys are smart as whips on this. On this one, Absolut stepped in political dog doo with both feet, and SKYY bent them over and rubbed their noses in it.

They may or may not produce all that impressive a potable, but their admen sure have huevos. I haven't laughed so hard over a press release since ... um ... the purely political stuff, I guess.

(HT: Kathryn Jean Lopez)