Cranky Large Medium reading, 16 May

Go away.

What are you doing still hanging around? The monkey bars are all downhill, yonder. Shouldn't you have gone long ago? Why are you still here? Oh, you came here for a reading, did you? Well, then, let's get that thing done and get you out of here. Here you are:

You could be called a clear thinker -- by people who lisp. You have an unforgiving memory and a bundle of ideas, with some ability to carry them out. Please, don't try them at home. You're a regular smart-aleck, with a sense of humor that borders on funny, and you are crazy about your family and home. Did I say crazy about home and family? Make that just plain crazy.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But at least you have bragging rights on your life, in that you have one. It beats hands down what all these people have, as they, on this date in history, lay body and soul down to rest for all time: Levi P. Morton, Mehmed VI, George A. Malcolm, Jeremy Michael Boorda, Daniel Solander, Joseph Fourier, Alfred Hoche, Frederick Hopkins, Saint Brendan, Saint Simon Stock, Dirk Willems, Andrzej Bobola, George Ade, James Agee, Irwin Shaw, Pietro da Cortona, Charles Keeping, Django Reinhardt, Ernie Freeman, Marv Johnson, Brian Pendleton, Sammy Davis, Jr., Margaret Hamilton, Bodacious the Bull, Big Dick Dudley, William Adams, Jacob Leisler, H. B. Reese, Eliot Ness, A. Philip Randolph, Andy Kaufman, Alec Campbell,

and Jim Henson.

You can go today.
Happy birthday, anyway.