5 July Fortune Teller says

Your birthday today:

You profit more by experience than by foresight. You are persevering and faithful and adversity does not deter your ambition or change your plan of work. You are friendly and like attention ; in love you are steadfast and devoted.

You may like attention, but that doesn't mean you've had your name -- or anybody else's, for that matter -- written into the book. No, that page is blank! So, if you were looking to experience a large birthday party, you may be forced to work toward a gathering from among these other birthday notables: Cecil Rhodes, Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr., David Farragut, William John Macquorn Rankine, Herbert Spencer Gasser, John Howard Northrop, James Mirrlees, Gerardus 't Hooft, Thomas Hooker, Jean Cocteau, Harold Acton, John Gilmore, Bill Watterson, Wanda Landowska, Gordon Jacob, Smiley Lewis, George Rochberg, Ronnie Self, Robbie Robertson, Michael Monarch, Jimmy Crespo, Bengt Lagerberg, Milburn Stone, Warren Oates, Billy "Froggy" Laughlin, William Hootkins, Katherine Helmond, Shirley Knight, Patsy Pease, Edie Falco, Kathryn Erbe, John Woodruff, Booker Edgerson, Richard "Goose" Gossage, Peter McNamara, Yip Man, Mary Walcott, Phineas Taylor Barnum, Dwight F. Davis, Myles Horton,

and Huey Lewis

It's a square cake. Go ahead and slice it, hipster.
Happy birthday!