Celibating a fiction, or the born-again virgin

In my dissolute youth my friends and I had a gesture we used to express extreme displeasure with another person. It was a variant of the "one-fingered salute", in which the middle finger, instead of being raised, was pointed downward. We often muttered the phrase, "un-f*ck you", and if anybody asked for an explanation, we told him it meant we took back any and all consideration we had ever offered the person.

Well, apparently the abstinence crowd is offering this same courtesy to our youth, thinking it a kindness.

(Via EclectEcon) Stephen at disinterested party has the news that, apparently, you can get your virginity back, simply by adhering to a set of principles.

Say hello to secondary virginity—virtual virginity for those committed Christians who just couldn’t wait:

Secondary virginity is a decision to abstain from sexual activity, starting with today and continuing until the day you get married. It’s an opportunity to start over. Your physical virginity may be lost, but virginity is more than just a physical state. It’s an attitude, a frame of mind. It’s manifested in the way you look at yourself and others.

Secondary virginity is a time to change bad habits and heal past wounds. It allows you to clean and renew yourself prior to marriage.

How very Chomsky-ite of this band of Christians! They've changed the meaning of the word, rather than confront the real issue at hand, which is helping young people to uphold the moral principles they choose to espouse.

For years I've been telling people that, by virtue of disuse, I've gotten my virginity back. But then, I've been joking. I know the reality of action and reaction. Once surrendered, innocence can never be restored. All one can do is adapt to the change.

Although in the minds of many the terms are interchangeable, abstinence and celibacy are not the same as virginity. For that matter, even chastity is not an absolute synonym for the "v" word. Not all virgins are all that chaste. Not all celibates (unmarried persons) abstain from intimate pleasures. Each word has its clear definition, its own peculiar nature or practice.

Our language is imprecise enough already. Our moral standards are lax enough, as well. Why do people persist in muddying both?