To say Kiethsburg, IL, is a small town would be an understatement. If, for example, you were to hold it up against the fictional Twin Peaks, David Lynch's fantasy town would come out looking a lot like Seattle. So, when one man, Guy Brenkman (who runs several different businesses in this little river town), decided to turn the big family restaurant and bar (The Lighthouse) into a "gentlemen's club" complete with topless waitresses, the locals got a bit perturbed. After all, there's a little village about 30 miles downriver, called Gulfport, where topless bars and illicit substances and naughty acts are rumored to be all easily available from both river and landside. And they're only a twenty-minute drive from the south end of that bustling, decadent metropolis, the Quad Cities.
Kiethsburg locals decided they didn't appreciate the dramatic change in scenery and clientele. As a small town with a view to accomodating families, they weren't exactly happy with the potential increase in crime that a sleazy topless bar might draw. At first, the threat was to boycot only the bar, Bikinis. Unfortunately, a few locals also decided that Brenkman was not accommodating enough when he put skimpy tops on the women who worked there, so some opted to boycot his other businesses, as well. Word got out that one of his other businesses, a Tastee-Freez soft-serve ice cream store, had teen-aged girls working there in nearly topless conditions (although that may simply be a rumor stirred up by some folks who interpreted a teen-ager's lack of common sense in wardrobe as a new dress code).
It looks, now, as though Brenkman has had enough. He's shutting down Bikinis, as well as two other stores he owns in Kiethsburg -- a dollar store and a ladies' lingerie boutique, and is planning to sell his Tastee-Freez, as well as the motel he owns.
Brenkman owned nearly all the operating businesses in Kiethsburg. Almost everything else around is boarded up. When he leaves, there's every chance that Kiethsburg will become a ghost town, in terms of businesses. The best it may hope to be, if these stores shut down, is a bedroom community for the Quad Cities and Muscatine.
A few years ago, I had the distinct pleasure of having a supper or two with friends and family at the old Lighthouse Restaurant. The service was pretty bad, but the cook was brilliant, preparing simple family fare such as catfish steaks, mushroom burgers, and fresh potato salad which deserved the full attention of the diner. The chef's talents and skills would have been wasted on a bunch of drunken louts whose primary purpose in coming there was to stare at half-naked women.
Come to think of it, the pretty little river town of Kiethsburg would be wasted on titty-minded drunks.
I hope somebody with a little broader vision comes along to pick up the pieces left by this tangle.
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