They would fain turn a head.
Some of my favorites include:
-Thy beaute ys more intoxicatyng than the OVP openne bar.
-Makstow a pilgrymage heere often?
-Art thou a disastrous poll tax? Bycause I feele a risynge comynge on.
and, my choice for the one that would get him at least to 3rd base would have to be:
-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.
Please, read them all, and take notes.