Thursday, April 20, 2006

Shocker! Gummint study proves what we've known all along

After thousands of hours of videos were viewed, government experts now say that driving while distracted is dangerous. It seems that eating, reading, applying mascara, and the like are as dangerous as driving while sleeping or under the influence of some substances...

Who'd a thunk?

I'm sorry. I have close kinfolk who worked with NHTSA, and sometimes I wonder who comes up with ideas for work for colleagues of said relative. I know, for example, that my relative would never be caught dead doing something lame and pointless (although some tasks one does for children occasionally may seem that way). And, yet, it took a GOVERNMENT STUDY (read: large heaps of tax money) to show us how dangerous it is to change your pantyhose or read your e-mail while operating a vehicle moving down a crowded interstate highway at 65 mph.

Was this study really necessary? Do they really think that releasing the information gleaned from this study is going to stop people from behaving like complete and total morons in cars? Is the next Britney Spears going to drive down the highway, reach into her purse after her eye shadow, lean in toward the rearview mirror and then change her mind about applying that makeup because she read the government warnings? People who are idiots don't get much out of government studies. They're naturally stupid, and no amount of tax money is going to change their dangerously brainless conduct.

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